Starting with the subject line. You know some international bands as well? Woopty-freakin-doo. What do you want, a fucking cookie? Lemme explain why he said that... Back when we were doing the eHarmony questions, he asked me this:
"You like David Sedaris, so you're pretty much awesome already. What other non-mainstream things to you like that will impress me even more?"
Okay, first of all - *I* have to impress *YOU*? Pfht. Anyway, my reply started with this:
GOGOL BORDELLO. The absolute BEST band EVER. I've seen them in concert 5 times in the past 2.5 years - the last two shows being back-to-back concerts in Baltimore a month ago. They played Thursday and Friday nights and I went to both...
So when he emails me, he mentions this:
I would argue that Dream Theater is the greatest band ever - but I honestly don't expect to find women who share my tastes in music. I'll be very lonely if I try for that.
Fair enough. I personally find metal rather irritating, but I'm glad he doesn't have unrealistic expectations for his mate. Being a fangirl and occasionally snarky, I replied with this:
Nope, sorry - Gogol Bordello is the greatest band ever. A punk/rock band formed in New York by a Ukrainian with gypsy roots, who now lives in Brazil + a guitarist from Israel + a classically trained Russian violinist + an Ethiopian on bass + another Russian toting an accordion + a dude of Italian/Swedish/Carribean descent wearing a kilt playing drums + three more on percussion from Ecuador, Hong Kong, and Vermont/Thailand. It all adds up to a transcontinental, multicultural soundgasm with infectious energy. Nothing tops Gogol Bordello. :) But I know what you mean - I've given up on finding someone who shares my taste in music. Musical preference is probably not very high on the list of what makes relationships "work."
So now we're back to the email with "I know some international bands as well..." in the subject line.
From: Mark
Date: Tue, Jun 1, 2010 at 10:40 PM
Subject: I know some international bands as well...
To: Susan
Hello Susan,
If you like international music, your best bet of liking something I like would be "Orphaned Land", they describe themselves as "Judeo-Muslim heavy metal". They're pretty awesome because they use traditional Middle Eastern instruments with modern ones to make Middle Eastern metal.
So, what do you do in your spare time? Have any pets? and, most importantly, what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Hope to hear from you soon,
Mark
Okay, fine. I'll give him credit for trying to connect on some level, even though Orphaned Land SUCKS. (I looked 'em up on MySpace. Nice concept though. But it's still metal. Very irritating.)
What do I do in my spare time? Seriously? Did you even the part of my profile where I answer, "How do you typically spend your leisure time?" Or did the "spare/leisure" synonym throw you off?
Now I can excuse a Holy Grail reference here and there ("what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"), but the combination of Holy Grail, plus all of my previously stated annoyances, plus how excited he got about my superhero question**, equals "ehhh..."
So "eh" that I can't even bring myself to reply with, "African or European?"
It's possible that my irritability is getting the best of me and sabotaging a potential match.
It's also possible that "irritability" is a my higher self telling me that I'm just not interested in someone. And the less I heed my inner wisdom, the more irritated I get. I've already got two perfect examples of this phenomenon over the past year or so - "Rain Man" and "Java Jerk"***- I probably don't need to add a third.
Or maybe "third time's the charm?"
Or, "these things come in threes?"
Meh.
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*Fake name.
**"If you were a superhero, what superpowers would you want to have? What superpowers would you more likely end up with?" Of course it's a great question. But no need to shoot your load over it.
***I'll explain some other time.
