Free! Kingsford "odorless" charcoal starter

Free: one quart of Kingsford odorless charcoal starter fluid. Well actually... I used about an ounce of it, so I guess it's really just 31 ounces. Why they don't sell smaller quantities for the ritualistic destruction of not-so-flammable relationship memorabilia is beyond me.

If you'd like to get your hands on this prize, send me an email with an amusing anecdote involving some sort of flame, fire, accelerant, cooking mishap, candle wax gone wild, whatever. It doesn't have to be true - just make me laugh.

I'll give y'all until the end of June (11:59:59 pm Monday night) to submit an entry. If you REALLY want the charcoal starter before Tuesday, just say so - I'm also a sucker for a good pity plea.

Thank you, Stephen!

Stephen Colbert, that is.

It appears that you love us just as much as we love you! You knew we were smitten by your address to the Princeton Class of 2008, but bummed that the only way we could -sorta- hear it was via low-quality cell phone video posted on YouTube. So what do you do for your adoring fans? You served it up to us on a silver platter in last night's segment of The Word: Oh, The Places You'll Stay.

Bless you.

Fun Little Diversion

This will take your mind off more important things for a minute or two (or ten if you are an over-achiever):

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 4 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Stats about my first name:
- There are 1,207,776 people in the U.S. with the first name Susan.
- Statistically the 25th most popular first name.
- This one's a real shocker: More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Susan are female. Are you SERIOUS?

Stats about my last name:
- Ooops... almost revealed too much! All I will say is that there are less than a thousand people in the U.S. with the same last name as moi.

Thanks, Amber!

Oh, Stephen!

Stephen Colbert, that is.

What? Who did you think I meant?

Anyway... the man who makes my heart skip a beat just received yet another well-deserved accolade:

"The Great Princeton Class of 2008 Understandable Vanity Award."

I'd post the article and the tasty photos here, but I don't want to risk being sued by the author, photographer, or the Associated Press - so I'll just send you to this link:

Colbert tells grads: Please don't change the world

And some morsels from YouTube:

Stephen Colbert's 2008 Princeton Class Day Speech: Don't Follow Jesus, Follow Me



Stephen Colbert's 2008 Princeton Class Day Speech: Don't Change the World



Let me know if you find the entire speech somewhere on the internet.